Becoming: Dr. Andrea Holman

At Sip & Chat, we believe transformation often begins the moment someone feels truly seen and witnessed.

“Becoming” is a collection of stories from our community exploring the moments that changed  us. The moments that made things make sense. The moments that helped us return to ourselves.

This is Dr. Holman’s.

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In my former role as a psychology professor, one of the things I frequently told students was that attention is essential to learning and growth. You cannot remember or learn from what you don’t pay attention to.

The thing I find most remarkable about being witnessed is that it is a choice to pay attention. A choice to remember and retain what’s on display. And even more remarkable, the choice is in the learner, not the model.

People can witness you, learn from you, and grow because of you, all without your knowledge.

I find this beautiful because in moments when we feel insignificant, inconsequential, or uncertain about the life we’re living, the truth is we have no idea the impact we may have on those who witness us, even if only for a passing moment.

When I reflect on the ways being witnessed has changed me, both personally and professionally, I think back to a time as a professor, months before I began my current role.

I completed a presentation on the impact of race-related stress on mental health for a large corporation. Unbeknownst to me, a C-suite member attended and witnessed me share the reality of the fears and anxiety that come with raising Black American sons in the United States.

Afterward, this person made a social media post noting the emotional impact of what I shared.

Learning this left me surprised, encouraged, and completely humbled.

I never would have imagined that a sometimes awkward, always bookish, and introverted Black woman and mother from central Texas could impact how senior executives lead professionally and parent personally.

It gave me courage to change careers.
To continue speaking words of wisdom, even when my voice shakes.
To embrace all of my intersecting identities and unapologetically take up space.

It also led me to apply the mantra I tell my children daily to myself:
You are strong.
You are capable.
You have a voice.

Anytime someone shares the impact of my words, especially after time has passed, it means more to me than they’ll ever know.

Realizing the impact of being witnessed is a big part of my “why” for working and building relationships. It helps me endure discouraging moments, find courage for difficult conversations, seek support from my people, and cultivate rhythms of rest when I’m mentally and physically spent.

It is truly an honor and a privilege to be witnessed, one for which I hold deep gratitude.

I encourage you to reflect on the people you’ve witnessed who may not realize the impact they’ve had on you.

Who are those people?
What have they done for you?
And how might you share their impact in a way that encourages them to continue fostering growth, learning, and change in this world?